I was asked a question

I am writing this post because I am frequently asked as to how I arrive at a certain interpretation in matters of Deen and because I was asked a specific question with the accompanying inquiry whether this was an appropriate place (blog) to ask it. Let me detail how I try and make sense of our beautiful Deen and you then decide if this is the place to exchange ideas about it :)

The way I see it, we always have to start with the Quran, the primary document and in matters of fixed laws stop with it because that is what the Quran says. Furthermore, the Quran is total and complete. We may not introduce any outside elements that may go against its various checks and balances. Primarily among them is its use of the Arabic language. There are several online guides available on the subject. Specialist knowledge is only needed when we need to fully benefit from the treasure trove of inductive truths embedded in the text.
 
The key is always to investigate the keywords across multiple dictionaries and above all their use in the Quran itself and never let secondary sources dictate the meaning or context of God's words.

Outside the Quranic laws, issues must be decided by the Ummah, scholars must be on tap and never on top. All deduced laws/rules/regulations by their very nature must be confined to the deciding community for a prescribed time. The reason I am not prepared to give deduced rules and regulations any permanence or Universal reach is because a particular community's decision cannot be forced upon those that were not part of the original decision making process, either in time or place. Of course, a new community can endorse it and start using it as well. The endorsement is a must and the whole mechanism to carry it out should only take place within a legally defined community/state/nation. You are welcome to have a look at how I see the establishment and running of a community by Muslims, here http://lifecheat.blogspot.com/2010/03/is-seperation-of-church-and-state-good.html

So what was the question :) Is being friends with the opposite gender Haram? obviously not as per the verses of the Quran but if you want my opinion that does not mean one has a blank check to do what he or she wants or get away with. First we need to make a clear distinction between the married folks and singles. As far as the married folks are concerned both partners must be in complete agreement on the principle of the issue as well as perhaps each individual case, too many reasons to list lol. Beyond that there is nothing stopping friendship between genders, the "rules of engagements" lol I just thought the term sounds very appropriate, have to strictly follow the Quranic guidelines whereby the need for secret liaisons will have to be eliminated (unless the manner of interaction is proper for specific purpose of proposing) and all social interaction restricted to public places. (let me just add, when gender interaction is socially acceptable, there is no need for secret liaisons, unless .....) Beyond that Quranic laws have more than enough juice to ensure that nobody oversteps their limits.

And then this;
There is no harm in proposing in secret to (any of) these women, or keeping the intention to yourself: God is aware that you will keep them in mind. Yet do not make a promise in secret, unless you speak in a manner that is proper; and do not resolve upon marriage till the fixed term of waiting is over. Remember that God knows what is in your hearts; so be fearful of Him, and remember that God is forgiving and forbearing. Quran 2:235